One-sided Dialogue

I was sitting in a writing class the other day, and I wrote something that I wanted to share. I forgot my textbook, so while we were supposed to be doing some reading I was doing some extracurricular activities...

Sometimes I talk to my unborn child. As you can imagine, the conversation are pretty much one-sided. The topics vary from conversation to conversation. For example I start off by introducing myself, (in my best Darth Vader voice) "I am your father." I do that as an introduction and as an ice-breaker. Although, I'm certain he/she doesn't appreciate the reference.

Then I will talk about whatever is on my mind; the weather, politics, life advice, and I have already given the child his/her list of chores. My child will know what is expected of her/him when he/she is born. The conversations are not very long; I know children have short attention spans. If my child is anything like me, his or her attention span will also be very short.

Why do I talk to my child? There are several reasons. First, my wife likes it when I talk to the baby. It is important for her to see me bond with the child.

Secondly, I do it to impart my wisdom on him or her. I have heard my fair share of lectures over the past twenty-five years; now it's my turn to pass on my knowledge. I figure I should get a head start on the lecturing and pontificating while I wait for him or her to arrive.

Thirdly, and most importantly, I want my child to know me. They say that infants recognize sounds from the womb after they are born. They are drawn to those familiar voices when they are infants. One of my relatives told me how the father spoke to his baby during the pregnancy.  After he was born, the father spoke to him in the delivery room and the baby stopped crying for a moment. He looked around, as if to say, "I know that sound." Then he started crying again. Still, a touching anecdote.

I know I'm repeating myself when I say this, but I want this child to know me. I want to establish that father-child relationship now, and build on it after she/he is born. I want to be a source of comfort for my son or daughter.

I confess that there are times when I wish the conversation went both ways. I wish he/she would answer some questions. Such as, what are you? Are you a boy or a girl? We would all love to know; especially your parents. There seems to be so much tied into knowing your child's gender. It helps narrow the name search, it helps with shopping, and it will get people off our back. Someone got annoyed with my wife because we don't know what we are having yet. Maybe they would like an invitation to the ultrasound appointment.

I say all of that to say this; it is important to talk to your unborn child. The words don't really matter and neither does the topic. The important thing is making that connection and establishing that bond. I don't think my child will remember my thoughts on the Arizona Republican primary, but that doesn't really matter anyways.

If you don't know what to say, start off with some humor. You don't have to do exactly what I do, although I wouldn't blame you if you did. It's really clever, and in a few years, when my child is watching Star Wars for the first time, those words will seem strangely familiar to him. Or her.

P.S.
Since I started writing this post there has been a new development... the baby is kicking! This is something that the mother gets to experience first, and it is truly special to see. It started for my wife a few weeks ago. The feeling was hard for her to describe to me, but she knew it was our little one. And just the other day our baby introduced him/herself to me. I felt a tiny little kick.

It took every ounce of concentration to focus on what my fingers were feeling, but when I felt it there was a definite "wow" moment. The kicks are faint so I have to verify with my wife to know if its the baby that I'm feeling, or if it's her laughing at me. Now, he is becoming a regular soccer player.

We also get a small glimpse into out baby's personality. Both of us have to to the same conclusion; he/she is like his/her father; stubborn. The baby will kick, we stop what we are doing so I can feel it, and... nothing.
I can almost hear the tiny voice, "You want me to do what? Not right now. I'm worn out. Maybe later."
Like father, like son/daughter.

P.S.II
Thursday is our ultrasound appointment. We will hopefully get to see and know if our baby is a boy or a girl. That will make so many things so much easier. Writing this blog will definitely be easier. I'm thinking of doing a live-journal of the appointment so stay tuned.