Sleepless in the Nursery

Every once in a while I mild insomnia attacks. Tonight is one of those nights. Sleep is evading me like a wanted criminal. It's always the same thing with me; I can't seem to find the switch to my brain at night. In fact, it is the opposite; my mind goes into overdrive when I am trying to find comfort in the warm embrace of sleep.

So I came to the room formerly known as my man-cave to try and sort out my thoughts. The space is quickly turning into a nursery, and my workspace has become more of an afterthought. When we started we said that her nursery would be in my office. The reality is that soon my office will be in her nursery. 

It is a violent collision of two worlds. My side is defined by my work space: a desk, computer, a printer, notebooks, and random USB cables. Her side is centered around her beautiful crib which is ready for her arrival. It has a crib set, a mobile, and a warm blanket. My side has football posters, memorabilia, and my guitars. Her side has a comfy glider where Mommy will rock her to sleep while Daddy is studying for finals. My side is yellow and green; her side is pink. 

The room has become a metaphor or an illustration of what I have been going through for the past few months. Ever since we found out that we were having a girl I have been going through a transformation of sorts. I was so convinced that we were having a baby boy I was starting to refer to her by the boy name we had picked out. All of that changed the moment we were confronted with reality. I was going to buy a little pair of sneakers for a little boy. I can still buy them, but they will be slightly different.

Before

After.

The change was sudden, abrupt, and hard to deal with at first. With time, I have made the transformation in my heart and in my mind. I think part of my problem was that I only had brothers growing up, and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to relate to a little girl. Now I know that won't be the case. I'm not saying that I'm completely ready for the task, but I know that I will grow and learn with her.

Everything about this pregnancy has changed since the beginning. Even this blog is different, and the way I write about this baby is different because I know more about who this baby is. I'm actually thinking of incorporating some pink into the blog theme. Then again, maybe not.

If you ever came into this room you would learn so much about our little family. You would know which football team I am loyal to, and you would know that we are having a baby girl. You might observe that I'm slightly disorganized, but you might also observe that my wife has made every effort to make this nursery a place of love and comfort for our baby girl.

Parts of this room that have yet to find their identity; like a painting that is waiting for the final brush strokes of the artist. We can fill it with more teddy bears, and more diapers, but it will still be empty without her.

We are anxiously waiting for her, but we are enjoying our final moments of freedom.

Anaya's crib

Sign for her nursery that my wife made

 

Anaya looking at her things