Birth Story: Part 1

Note: I've been working on this post for several days weeks now. The time I dedicate to this blog is now dictated by a newborn, so you do the math.

Part 1: Daddy Forgot the Birth Plan

The story begins on the night of the 23rd. We had just gotten back from having dinner, and we were watching some T.V. before going to bed. My wife had been having "false" labor pains for several weeks and that night was no exception. For some reason that night she mentioned feeling something different. At this point we were already four days overdue, so I was ready for anything. She had a doctor's appointment scheduled for the 24th and we were ready to hear what the doctor was willing to do to speed up the process. 

There was no need for that.

At around 4:30, I was woken up by my wife who was having a rather intense contraction. I was used to being woken up by my wife in the middle of the night, but this particular contraction felt different to her. It was long, painful, and different. I held her hand while it passed and I tried to go back to sleep only to be interrupted by another painful contraction. She was having them closer together, and that was when we knew it was time to go. 

We got up and we started to get ready to go to the hospital. Our bags were packed and supposedly ready to go, but we still had to do several laps around the house making sure we had everything. My wife called her doctor who told her to come to the hospital sooner rather than later. While she got ready to go, I threw everything in the car.

In the midst of the rush, we realized that we didn't have our birth plan printed out. I ran to the printer, unpacked the computer, and I printed out a copy which I then set on the kitchen table. That was followed by more running around the house while we called people to let them know that it was time. I was running up and down the stairs making sure I had the camera, batteries and chargers for everything. 

We somehow get everything into the car and we were on our way. By now it was a little after 5 in the morning. I was glad that there wasn't too much traffic. The contractions were coming closer together and they were becoming more painful. I tried my best to focus on getting to the hospital. The advantage of having to go to the hospital this early is the simple fact that there is no traffic. It was me and the open road. Oh, and my wife going into labor.

I didn't have a pre-planned route, but there are only two ways to get to the hospital of our choice. My chosen route had less stoplights and a four-lane highway. It is usually well patrolled by law enforcement, but I was well prepared to make my case for a police escort to the hospital.

We had no run-ins with the law, but our travels were hindered by a train. It wasn't a short train either. There was no way around the locomotive, so we had to wait patiently and watch it flow endlessly past us. I will always question the need to have railroad tracks crossing busy streets in any city.

My wife and I made it to the hospital and it was a rush to decide what we needed with us in the room, and what we could leave in the car, and where to park, and where to go first. We walked into the admitting area and walked up to the counter. My wife had pre-registered so we expected to be admitted instantly. We highly recommend this to anyone having a hospital birth; it can save you a lot of time and effort. The nice gentleman asks for my wife's name and then he says, "Why don't you have a seat. Mary (fake name) will be with you shortly."

We both thought the same thing. Seriously?

"Mary" took one look at my wife and asked her if she was in labor. My wife didn't really have to answer because you could see it in her face. At that moment "Mary" magically found her registration, so she hurried us down the hall to the elevator;you can't hurry a pregnant lady in labor.

The early morning hour helped in this instance as well because there was not a whole lot of hospital traffic. We got up to the maternity ward and there was another mad rush while, they helped my wife get ready, asked a bunch of questions, and I quickly made note of all the places I could pass out sit down if I needed to.

For the uninitiated: Hollywood has it all wrong. Labor is nothing like it is in T.V. and in movies. Sometimes I think that no one in Hollywood has actually given birth before, but then I think that they have to make it seem dramatic for the sake of drama. My wife never once yelled at me or blamed me for anything. The whole day was really calm and quiet.

That is not to say that my wife was not in pain, because she was. Every contraction was more painful than the last, and there was little rest between them. In our birth plan, she had stated that she did want pain medication during labor. While we were still getting settled in the room, the nurse looked at us and asked us for said birth plan. I dutifully ran to my bag, dug around the bag and quickly realized that the birth plan was not actually in the bag. Panic! How could I have forgotten such an important part of the process? How could I be so careless? How would we know how we wanted our baby to be born?

These and other questions will be answered in Part II: Daddy Forgot the Phone Charger

P.S. Anaya is now four weeks old and growing everyday.

Prelude: Anaya is here

Finally.

After nine long months of waiting for our baby girl, she decided to make her appearance on July 24th, 2012 at 7:52 pm. She weighed 7 pounds 1 ounce, and she was 20 inches long. She is also amazingly beautiful. Today I wanted to get some work done around the house, but I couldn't tear myself away from her. I love to just sit and watch her sleep. As I write this she is in her bassinet next to my desk, and every few seconds I take a peek at her.

All of the cliches about having a baby are completely true. It is an event that changes everything about who you are and how you do things. I suppose marriage can have a similar effect, but parenting changes you in a different way. You have the realization that this little person depends on you for every aspect of their existence and it changes how you see the world around you.

As young parents we are faced with new challenges everyday; there is still so much that we have to learn. I am certain about one thing, and that is that I'm completely convinced that I made the right choice when I decided I wanted my wife to be the mother of my children. She is the absolute perfect mom to Anaya, and even though she is our first baby my wife carries herself with the confidence of an experienced mother. I knew that she would be this way, but seeing it play out made me respect her in a new way.

I also gained a new respect for mothers and what they go through to bring their children into the world. The process of childbirth is often romanticized, but the reality is that it is a truly painful process. There is beauty in the moment, but there is also a struggle that would make the strongest man wish for his own death. I know that I would never be able to do anything like it.

I decided to write our birth story in a series, and that this post would serve as an introduction/prologue. If you are a regular reader you know that our due date was July 20th. That was Friday. Needless to say, we were getting more and more restless by the hour.

Monday was no exception. That evening we went out to dinner with my wife's mom. The discussion between my wife and mother in law quickly turned to the signs of labor and labor itself. I'm sure the people around us were captivated by the conversation. I just concentrated on the T.V. in the restaurant and decided not to participate in the conversation.

My wife and I went home and we sat on the couch for a few minutes before going to bed. I don't remember much about what we talked about, only that there was an anticipation in the air...

Anaya is beginning to stir from her slumber, so I will end this post here. Stay tuned for Part 1.

Oh, and I know you are dying to see her, so here she is... Yes, that is her real hair.

One of my favorites

Look at those eyes..

Happy family

These were taken the day after her birth by my talented cousin. One thing is for sure, this baby will grow up surrounded by people who love and adore her.

To Be...Or Not to Be (In the delivery room)

I think I could say beyond a reasonable doubt that I have been pretty good throughout the pregnancy. I have been through it all, trying to be as understanding as possible, learning as much as I can along the way. I have spent hours and hours looking at little dresses and hair things and this and that. These are things that I never  really thought I wold do. I have tried to not complain along the the way. Not that I have a reason to; I know that this is what life will be like from now on, and I'm learning as I go.

One thing that does make me pause is the small issue of being in the delivery when Anaya decides she wants to meet us. I already know what most of you are thinking, "How can you not be there for the birth of your child?" I can feel your judgment flowing to me through the computer. I will just say now that I will be in the delivery room, but it wont be easy. To put it mildly, I'm not good with hospitals.

I can tell you all kinds of stories that would make you slightly more sympathetic towards me, but for the most part they would just make you laugh. When I was in Mexico last year I had an adventure while I got my blood drawn; I didn't pass out, but it was a definite possibility. When my wife was in the hospital a few years ago, I did pass out while the nurse tried to put an I.V. in her arm. To my credit, the nurse was not very effective in doing that and she made the situation worse. It didn't help that my wife was in pain and I couldn't do anything about it. Then there was the time I was getting a procedure done on my toe; that was memorable. The doctor numbed my toe by sticking a large needle into the bone. I watched as she drove it into my flesh, and before I knew it, I was having strange dreams that I could never explain. You get the idea.

For years I said that I would never be in the delivery room; my plan was to wait right outside and come in as soon as the baby was born. Nothing could sway me from that plan. I was like an attorney; I made my case, presented evidence, questioned witnesses. I thought I had made a compelling argument, but the court did not see it that way. An appeal would be a wasted effort. I will be there.

Then there are those who might ask, "Don't you want to cut the umbilical cord?" Not really. That is why they have medical professionals there to do those things. If the umbilical cord specialist is not available, then sure I will help out. It's not like they give you a discount for giving them a hand with it. Yes, I will be cutting the umbilical cord.


The bottom line is that this isn't about me; it's about my wife and the birth of our baby girl. I have to learn to accept this and other difficult situations. I will be uncomfortable, nervous, maybe a little sick, but at least I wont be in pain. I might will pass out at some point, and all I can hope for is somewhere nice to land.