To Be...Or Not to Be (In the delivery room)

I think I could say beyond a reasonable doubt that I have been pretty good throughout the pregnancy. I have been through it all, trying to be as understanding as possible, learning as much as I can along the way. I have spent hours and hours looking at little dresses and hair things and this and that. These are things that I never  really thought I wold do. I have tried to not complain along the the way. Not that I have a reason to; I know that this is what life will be like from now on, and I'm learning as I go.

One thing that does make me pause is the small issue of being in the delivery when Anaya decides she wants to meet us. I already know what most of you are thinking, "How can you not be there for the birth of your child?" I can feel your judgment flowing to me through the computer. I will just say now that I will be in the delivery room, but it wont be easy. To put it mildly, I'm not good with hospitals.

I can tell you all kinds of stories that would make you slightly more sympathetic towards me, but for the most part they would just make you laugh. When I was in Mexico last year I had an adventure while I got my blood drawn; I didn't pass out, but it was a definite possibility. When my wife was in the hospital a few years ago, I did pass out while the nurse tried to put an I.V. in her arm. To my credit, the nurse was not very effective in doing that and she made the situation worse. It didn't help that my wife was in pain and I couldn't do anything about it. Then there was the time I was getting a procedure done on my toe; that was memorable. The doctor numbed my toe by sticking a large needle into the bone. I watched as she drove it into my flesh, and before I knew it, I was having strange dreams that I could never explain. You get the idea.

For years I said that I would never be in the delivery room; my plan was to wait right outside and come in as soon as the baby was born. Nothing could sway me from that plan. I was like an attorney; I made my case, presented evidence, questioned witnesses. I thought I had made a compelling argument, but the court did not see it that way. An appeal would be a wasted effort. I will be there.

Then there are those who might ask, "Don't you want to cut the umbilical cord?" Not really. That is why they have medical professionals there to do those things. If the umbilical cord specialist is not available, then sure I will help out. It's not like they give you a discount for giving them a hand with it. Yes, I will be cutting the umbilical cord.


The bottom line is that this isn't about me; it's about my wife and the birth of our baby girl. I have to learn to accept this and other difficult situations. I will be uncomfortable, nervous, maybe a little sick, but at least I wont be in pain. I might will pass out at some point, and all I can hope for is somewhere nice to land.