My Sacrifice

They say hindsight is 20/20. When you look back at your life you have a better perspective because you have had a chance to look back and see things in a different light. It is like looking at a painting. If you stand right in front of the canvas, it may not make any sense to you. If you take a few steps back you can see the whole picture, and you get a better understanding of what is going on. Life works the same way.

As I look back on my life there are things that begin to make sense. Lately I have been reflecting an and appreciating the sacrifices my parents made for me as I was growing up. They gave up so much of themselves so that I could have a better life. At the time, I am sure that I focused on the things that I did not have instead of being grateful for the things that I did have. Looking back, I have to say that I had it pretty good, and it was all because of their hard work and their dedication to raising us as they saw fit.

I am having to look at my life and think about what I am willing to sacrifice for my unborn child. It is not even the size of a bean at the moment, but that hasn't stopped me from evaluating my life and looking at things that I have to change. There are small things and there are big things and there are really big things.

First of all, I have to say that any sacrifices that I make are very small compared to the sacrifice my wife is already making. For nine months she will carry this being inside of her until he or she is ready to come about. Any women who have had children know that this is not an easy task, and I do not envy any of you. I think that is why mothers have a special bond to their children that men cannot really know or even understand. We are a little over a month into the pregnancy, and it has already proven to be a challenge. There is so much that goes on during a pregnancy; a mix of physical and emotional changes that have to be experienced to be understood.   

So I understand that my issues are miniscule compared to what she experiences every moment of every day. Still, there are things that I am going through that are small examples of the larger sacrifices that I am already willing to make for this child.  

Take "my office" as an example. We live in in a two bedroom apartment, and one of those rooms has been converted into a study room/man cave. Since the closet in our bedroom can barely contain my wife's clothes, my clothing has to go into the closet in this second room. I have also taken charge of the decor in this room. My allegiance to the Oregon Ducks is on full display in this room.

Guitar Corner

One of the corners of this room is dedicated to my guitars. I have one on a stand and the to others are around it, ready to be utilized at my leisure. My wife has decided that this corner is the perfect place for our baby's crib. You are probably asking yourself the same thing that I am asking myself. Where will my guitars go? That questions remains unanswered. Everyone has their cross to bear.

It is a small price to pay. Having the crib in my office means that whenever I am working late at night and I need to take a break all I have to do is turn my chair around to see my baby. It means that if he or she cries I will be right there. It means that this child will know right away which Oregon team he or she will be expected to cheer for.

What else am I sacrificing? I don't really know yet. I don't know much of anything. We don't even know if its a boy or a girl yet. All I know is that I am ready and to give it all up for the well being of this unborn child. These are things that I have only recently started thinking about, but I am convinced that I would do them at the drop of a hat.

I believe that parenting is not for the faint of heart. I am not fully there yet, but everyday I am learning something new about what this all means. Hopefully, I will figure it out before July. If not, I hope that my son or daughter knows that everything that I do is for him/her. And I will never stop reminding them that even though their mother carried them for nine months, I had to find a different place to put my guitars.