Pregnancy and parenting is like taking the most important test of your life. You study, prepare, and think about the test, but you realize that you can't be sure how ready you actually are until you have the test in front of you. Everyone around you has tried to give you their opinion on the test, and you begin to wonder who you should be listening to. There are different styles of parenting, and its up to you to figure how you want to raise your child. If you have more than one child, you have to think about them as individuals. Some things may work on one child, but not the other. There is a lot to consider.
Since we announced our pregnancy, several people have asked me, "Are you ready?" That question seems to come from people who have already been down this road. When they ask the question, they have a slight smile on their face, as if they know something that I don't. They probably do know a few things that I don't.
I thought that I should prepare for this baby by reading a few books. A quick Google search for "parenting books" came up with over 18 million results. If I started reading now I should be done by the time my child is getting ready to have children of his or her own. I think I will narrow the search down and flip through a few of them. The point is, there comes a time when you just have to experience this for yourself. I can read about what everyone else went through, but it won't mean a thing until I am face to face with the situation.
I think it is a process, and I am learning so many things along the way. I would not be ready if the baby were born tomorrow. I think I will be slightly more prepared when the time comes. (July 20th)
I don't think I am ready to raise a five year old, but as my child grows I am going to be growing with him. Every day will be a learning experience.
There are several things that make me feel more confident about my readiness. First of all, I know I chose the right mother for my children. My wife already has such a strong bond with this being, and I know being a mother will come naturally to her. She will have a lot to learn too, but she is way ahead of me.
There is also the great example that my parents have set for me. I cannot write enough about what an impact they have made on me. I am grateful and ashamed at the same time. Ashamed because I know there were times when I was nothing short of an ungrateful little brat. I am grateful because I now see that everything they did was done out of love for us. I am especially aware of my dad's influence on my life, and what that will mean when I am a dad. If I could be half the father that he is, I think we will be alright.
I know I will make mistakes. Some mistakes will be bigger than others. I might buy the wrong kind of diaper, or I might say something out of anger. I just want my child to know that every single thing I will ever do for them is out of love. I am willing to read every single one of those 18 million parenting books to avoid making mistakes, but I'm afraid that would not help.
Today we had another appointment at the clinic. It was a routine checkup, but it had one of "those" moments. We heard baby's heartbeat. It was an interesting moment because it happened quickly, yet time seemed to stand still for that one moment. The nurse put the microphone on my wife's tummy and starting moving it around while we talked to the doctor. It takes a second to hear anything so I was concentrating on what the doctor was saying when I heard her say, "There is the baby."
Time stood still.
It was such a small thing, yet so powerful because it made everything so real again. It brought everything into focus. There is a little person growing inside my wife, and that is our baby. Hearing that heartbeat made my heart beat faster. It was a special moment. While we were waiting for the elevator I made a mental note to myself. These are the kinds of moments that I want to remember for a long time.
Speaking of time, it is really flying by. There are times when it seems to crawl by, but the reality is that the clock is ticking. I'm learning to cherish every second of this experience, the good and the bad parts.
I know that I will be at my child's high school graduation and I will want to go back to these seemingly insignificant moments.
When I am faced with the reality of the situation, I feel confident and ready for the next moment. In a few months we find out the gender. Then we will pick a name. Then baby will come. I should be halfway through parenting book #12 by then. After that only 17,999,987.5 books to go.
Since we announced our pregnancy, several people have asked me, "Are you ready?" That question seems to come from people who have already been down this road. When they ask the question, they have a slight smile on their face, as if they know something that I don't. They probably do know a few things that I don't.
I thought that I should prepare for this baby by reading a few books. A quick Google search for "parenting books" came up with over 18 million results. If I started reading now I should be done by the time my child is getting ready to have children of his or her own. I think I will narrow the search down and flip through a few of them. The point is, there comes a time when you just have to experience this for yourself. I can read about what everyone else went through, but it won't mean a thing until I am face to face with the situation.
I think it is a process, and I am learning so many things along the way. I would not be ready if the baby were born tomorrow. I think I will be slightly more prepared when the time comes. (July 20th)
I don't think I am ready to raise a five year old, but as my child grows I am going to be growing with him. Every day will be a learning experience.
There are several things that make me feel more confident about my readiness. First of all, I know I chose the right mother for my children. My wife already has such a strong bond with this being, and I know being a mother will come naturally to her. She will have a lot to learn too, but she is way ahead of me.
There is also the great example that my parents have set for me. I cannot write enough about what an impact they have made on me. I am grateful and ashamed at the same time. Ashamed because I know there were times when I was nothing short of an ungrateful little brat. I am grateful because I now see that everything they did was done out of love for us. I am especially aware of my dad's influence on my life, and what that will mean when I am a dad. If I could be half the father that he is, I think we will be alright.
I know I will make mistakes. Some mistakes will be bigger than others. I might buy the wrong kind of diaper, or I might say something out of anger. I just want my child to know that every single thing I will ever do for them is out of love. I am willing to read every single one of those 18 million parenting books to avoid making mistakes, but I'm afraid that would not help.
Today we had another appointment at the clinic. It was a routine checkup, but it had one of "those" moments. We heard baby's heartbeat. It was an interesting moment because it happened quickly, yet time seemed to stand still for that one moment. The nurse put the microphone on my wife's tummy and starting moving it around while we talked to the doctor. It takes a second to hear anything so I was concentrating on what the doctor was saying when I heard her say, "There is the baby."
Time stood still.
It was such a small thing, yet so powerful because it made everything so real again. It brought everything into focus. There is a little person growing inside my wife, and that is our baby. Hearing that heartbeat made my heart beat faster. It was a special moment. While we were waiting for the elevator I made a mental note to myself. These are the kinds of moments that I want to remember for a long time.
Speaking of time, it is really flying by. There are times when it seems to crawl by, but the reality is that the clock is ticking. I'm learning to cherish every second of this experience, the good and the bad parts.
I know that I will be at my child's high school graduation and I will want to go back to these seemingly insignificant moments.
When I am faced with the reality of the situation, I feel confident and ready for the next moment. In a few months we find out the gender. Then we will pick a name. Then baby will come. I should be halfway through parenting book #12 by then. After that only 17,999,987.5 books to go.
I know you're not going to understand this until after you go through it (because that's just how it works), but you shouldn't waste your time with baby books. Even the best one in the world is useless.
ReplyDeleteBaby books are marketed towards first time parents. Believe me, spend your time enjoying the peace and quite, coming up with ideas of what you're going to do with your new baby when they are born and later on in their life, and just prepare.
Books just make it scary. They say raising a child is expensive, and maybe so in the later years, but for us? We only bought a few outfits (not out of necessity), and a couple of toys in our daughter's first year. Why? Because she already had tons of everything she needed, and a lot of stuff she didn't need.
Even now, at 18 months, there isn't anything we really have to buy her. But like I said, no matter what I say, or any other parent says, you'll ultimately say (later down the line) 'Hm, that one guy was right, maybe I should tell all my friends the same thing.', only to realize that they, too, won't listen until they have a child. I either posted, or have a post in my drafts about this very thing.
I'm going to follow your blog, because I like parenting blogs. And it seems like yours is going to interesting. If you want to read about my journey as a first-time Dad, just start at the beginning of my blog and work your way to the present.
Good luck with being a parent. It's the hardest, most mentally draining, exhausting thing I've ever done, but it's also the most wonderful thing in the world. Nothing comes close to it. One last piece of advice, that you'll hear but won't realize until later: Enjoy every second of it. Your child will be 18 and in college before you blink an eye.
Sorry for the long post, but it excites me to see another 'Dad blogger'.
No worries. I am already following your blog. I think this is why I am writing about it. I know that it will go by in the blink of an eye and writing about it is my way of enjoying every second. Please keep reading and commenting.
Delete~Alan