I don't know what to write about.
I shouldn't say it like that. I don't know what to write about because the star of the show is being quiet and not giving daddy any material. I have many things on my mind, but putting them down on paper has been hard.
I was reading the online version of our local paper earlier today when a headline caught my eye. I didn't read the article, but the phrase caught my eye because the exact thought has been rolling around in my head. The headline read: "Lull Before the Storm." It's a cliche and I know it, but it it is so relevant to our situation. As we took our daily walk around the block I looked up at the sky and I saw some clouds in a sky that had been clear only hours before. Life is like the weather: it is predictable in its unpredictability.
I can't help but feel conflicted in my thoughts and emotions at the moment. One part of me is ready to go at a moment's notice; I know where the bags are, I know where the hospital is, and I know what I have to do when I get there. This side of me is excited and completely prepared for what is coming. This is the part of me that is trying to enjoy the final fleeting moments of peace.
The other part of me is restless, anxious and impatient. Sometimes (very rarely) it can be hard to be the un-pregnant one in the relationship. I only have a second hand sense of what is going on. If my wife doesn't tell me anything, I am in the dark. As a result, I'm over-analyzing every breath she takes. If she looks uncomfortable for just a second I have to know exactly what is going on. Most of the time I just wait for her to tell me, otherwise I would drive her insane by asking her all the time. This is also the side of me that expects to pass out in the hospital.
If we look at the calendar Anaya still has a couple of days left. If you ask us, she is very late. Every second feels like an eternity as we wait for her to make an entrance. All we can do is take another lap around the block and wait for her to make up her mind.
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
The Roller-coaster Ride
There are probably a million ways to describe the pregnancy journey. One that comes to mind right now is a roller-coaster ride. There are highs, lows, and everything in between. There are events that you anticipate for a long time, and the excitement build slowly. Then you hit the peak, and there is a rush that happens as you descend towards normalcy. The lows are not always bad, but they are usually boring.
Right now, we are in the middle of a low. We found out that we are having a baby girl, and after the initial rush, things settled down. I think my wife and I experienced the moment differently. If you read the last post, then you know that we were expecting a boy. It was something that I was so sure about, and being told otherwise was hard to process. I really was in a mild shock. So was my wife, but she got over it as soon as we went shopping. Knowing what to expect makes it so much easier when you are buying everything you need.
It was different for me; I was set on a baby boy. I don't mean this to sound like I'm complaining because I'm not. I'm thrilled we are having a baby girl. Yet, I went through a slight adjustment period that don't really know what to call. During the shopping trip I kept glancing at all the little boy outfits, especially ones that had to do with sports and what not.
That lasted for a few days, but now I'm over it. for a while I thought I would feel that way until I see her, but I think I am coming around. I can't wait to see her, hold her, and wrap her in the Ralph Loren blanket I picked out for her. My baby girl is going to be classy.
I was beginning to see myself playing catch with a little boy, and now that has to change. I have to prepare myself to be surrounded by dolls, teddy bears, and pink. There will be tea parties, pony-tails, and other things that will make me feel completely clueless.
Being a father is important, but being a father to a girl is its own thing. I haven't figured it all out yet, but hopefully Anaya will take it easy on me.
Right now, we are in the middle of a low. We found out that we are having a baby girl, and after the initial rush, things settled down. I think my wife and I experienced the moment differently. If you read the last post, then you know that we were expecting a boy. It was something that I was so sure about, and being told otherwise was hard to process. I really was in a mild shock. So was my wife, but she got over it as soon as we went shopping. Knowing what to expect makes it so much easier when you are buying everything you need.
It was different for me; I was set on a baby boy. I don't mean this to sound like I'm complaining because I'm not. I'm thrilled we are having a baby girl. Yet, I went through a slight adjustment period that don't really know what to call. During the shopping trip I kept glancing at all the little boy outfits, especially ones that had to do with sports and what not.
That lasted for a few days, but now I'm over it. for a while I thought I would feel that way until I see her, but I think I am coming around. I can't wait to see her, hold her, and wrap her in the Ralph Loren blanket I picked out for her. My baby girl is going to be classy.
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| She is getting a few of these |
Being a father is important, but being a father to a girl is its own thing. I haven't figured it all out yet, but hopefully Anaya will take it easy on me.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Life's Greatest Adventure
The other day I was catching up with an old instructor from school. I went in to see him about a favor, but we ended up talking for a while. He did most of the talking, but it was nice to catch up with him.
At some point in our talk, the topic of our pregnancy came up. He congratulated me and he mentioned that he was going to be a grandfather for the first time. Then he said something that stuck in my mind.
"Life's greatest adventure. It really is."
I didn't say anything; I just smiled and nodded. He has been through this and know what he is talking about. At this point any comment from me would be like a high school football player talking about what it means to play in the NFL...to John Madden. In other words, I haven't traveled the road enough to tell you what traffic is like. Enough bad analogies for now.
We are about 15 weeks into the journey, and to be honest it is kind of a dull spot. I don't want it to sound like I'm taking this for granted, but in the grand scheme of things there is not much going on right now. Let me elaborate.
First you have "The Decision." This is the moment that you decide to have a baby. It is very significant and there is a lot that goes into making "That Decision." It can't be taken lightly. This is a long-term commitment. You are deciding to start a family. Families are the foundation of a society. If families are weak, then society will be weak.
Then you have "The Discovery." This moment could be broken into several different sections. There is the moment where you think you might be pregnant, and then there is the moment you know you are pregnant. The thinking part comes from feeling some of the initial symptoms. The knowing part comes from a positive pregnancy test. Special moment.
After that you have what is know as "The Reveal." This is when you tell your friends and family in whatever way you deem appropriate. We told our families in person, but most of our friends found out through social media. My parents are going to be first-time grandparents, so I wanted that moment to be memorable; it was.
That sets off a rush of events. The unpleasant symptoms kick and, you choose a doctor, and you begin to get your home ready for baby. There are several doctor's visit including a couple of ultrasounds. More and more people have heard the news and everyone is happy for you. They all want to know if its a boy or a girl, and we patiently explain that we won't know until March.
Then you get to where we are; we are in a dull moment. My wife isn't suffering as much as she was in her first trimester. She is starting to show a little more each day, but what we are really anxious for is the ultrasound in March. Then we will know if we are having a boy or a girl. That will make shopping so much easier for my wife.
More than anything, I think this is the calm before the storm. This is the perfect time to stock up on diapers and other essential items. These are the last few months where it will be just the two of us for many years. Our children will be our responsibility until they go to college, get married, or I send them to boarding school in Europe. I would like to keep my options open.
At some point in our talk, the topic of our pregnancy came up. He congratulated me and he mentioned that he was going to be a grandfather for the first time. Then he said something that stuck in my mind.
"Life's greatest adventure. It really is."
I didn't say anything; I just smiled and nodded. He has been through this and know what he is talking about. At this point any comment from me would be like a high school football player talking about what it means to play in the NFL...to John Madden. In other words, I haven't traveled the road enough to tell you what traffic is like. Enough bad analogies for now.
We are about 15 weeks into the journey, and to be honest it is kind of a dull spot. I don't want it to sound like I'm taking this for granted, but in the grand scheme of things there is not much going on right now. Let me elaborate.
First you have "The Decision." This is the moment that you decide to have a baby. It is very significant and there is a lot that goes into making "That Decision." It can't be taken lightly. This is a long-term commitment. You are deciding to start a family. Families are the foundation of a society. If families are weak, then society will be weak.
Then you have "The Discovery." This moment could be broken into several different sections. There is the moment where you think you might be pregnant, and then there is the moment you know you are pregnant. The thinking part comes from feeling some of the initial symptoms. The knowing part comes from a positive pregnancy test. Special moment.
After that you have what is know as "The Reveal." This is when you tell your friends and family in whatever way you deem appropriate. We told our families in person, but most of our friends found out through social media. My parents are going to be first-time grandparents, so I wanted that moment to be memorable; it was.
That sets off a rush of events. The unpleasant symptoms kick and, you choose a doctor, and you begin to get your home ready for baby. There are several doctor's visit including a couple of ultrasounds. More and more people have heard the news and everyone is happy for you. They all want to know if its a boy or a girl, and we patiently explain that we won't know until March.
Then you get to where we are; we are in a dull moment. My wife isn't suffering as much as she was in her first trimester. She is starting to show a little more each day, but what we are really anxious for is the ultrasound in March. Then we will know if we are having a boy or a girl. That will make shopping so much easier for my wife.
More than anything, I think this is the calm before the storm. This is the perfect time to stock up on diapers and other essential items. These are the last few months where it will be just the two of us for many years. Our children will be our responsibility until they go to college, get married, or I send them to boarding school in Europe. I would like to keep my options open.
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