Impatiently Patient.

We have a crib, a car seat, tons of baby clothes, diapers, and no baby.

My wife and I are becoming impatient to say the least, and I really don't know why. The "official" countdown app on my phone says there are still nine days left, but for some reason it feels like she should already be here. We started off with nothing, and now that we have everything it  feels so useless because we are still missing the most important part. Like a Thanksgiving meal with all the trimmings, but no turkey. 

Several appointments ago the doctor said to us that she could come early, and  that has stuck in our minds like a bad song. We know that the doctor is just making an educated guess, but to us her words become truth. It's our inexperience combined with our desire to meet our little girl. We heard what we wanted to hear, and now we cannot un-hear it. 

The hospital bags are packed and ready to go at a moments notice. Even the smallest  contraction makes us wonder, "Is this the one?" So far, it hasn't been the one, and that just adds to our impatience. In our minds, the timer starts only to stop moments later.

I know that we don't really have a reason to be impatient. Her due date is still days away, and she could even be born after her due date. If anything, we should be treasuring these last days of peace and tranquility.

Then again, we do have a reason to be impatient. We are impatient to see what she looks like, to hear what she sounds like, to smell what she smells like, and to feel what she feels like. We are impatient to hold her and to touch her. We are impatient to show her to our friends and family. We are impatient to post pictures online and have the everyone say how beautiful she is. 

Thankfully, life has a way of keeping is grounded. Our family, jobs, and other responsibilities are still keeping us busy. Those are the things that occupy our minds and our time. Without them we probably would have gone crazy by now, which is still a possibility. It is easier to type this than is is to accept it, but we know that she will come when she is ready. Hopefully she will be ready sooner rather than later. 

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Once again I would like to mention my friends Jason and Naomi Rice and their adoption. They are raising money until the 15th, and they could use your help. If you can't donate help them spread the word. You can do so by visiting their blog here and you can read their entire story here.

The Roller-coaster Ride

There are probably a million ways to describe the pregnancy journey. One that comes to mind right now is a roller-coaster ride. There are highs, lows, and everything in between. There are events that you anticipate for a long time, and the excitement build slowly. Then you hit the peak, and there is a rush that happens as you descend towards normalcy. The lows are not always bad, but they are usually boring.

Right now, we are in the middle of a low. We found out that we are having a baby girl, and after the initial rush, things settled down. I think my wife and I experienced the moment differently. If you read the last post, then you know that we were expecting a boy. It was something that I was so sure about, and being told otherwise was hard to process. I really was in a mild shock. So was my wife, but she got over it as soon as we went shopping. Knowing what to expect makes it so much easier when you are buying everything you need.

It was different for me; I was set on a baby boy. I don't mean this to sound like I'm complaining because I'm not. I'm thrilled we are having a baby girl. Yet, I went through a slight adjustment period that don't really know what to call. During the shopping trip I kept glancing at all the little boy outfits, especially ones that had to do with sports and what not.

That lasted for a few days, but now I'm over it. for a while I thought I would feel that way until I see her, but I think I am coming around. I can't wait to see her, hold her, and wrap her in the Ralph Loren blanket I picked out for her. My baby girl is going to be classy.

She is getting a few of these

I was beginning to see myself playing catch with a little boy, and now that has to change. I have to prepare myself to be surrounded by dolls, teddy bears, and pink. There will be tea parties, pony-tails, and other things that will make me feel completely clueless.

Being a father is important, but being a father to a girl is its own thing. I haven't figured it all out yet, but hopefully Anaya will take it easy on me.